The Look

 

So many people come and go
leaving quickly
with the same speed they entered our lives
It always seems to amaze me when I think
all the people in my life,
all the people I have touched, and that have touched me.
It is amazing indeed
the effect we have on others,
the effect they have on us
some thing we would never believe,
yet when we look back,
there was always that one person
that one person who could spot us a mile away
who knew our next move,
our next reaction,
but the end,
no one ever saw.
No one ever sees it coming,
we might have sensed it in the slight,
but never believed it was here already.

Because it always came on way too early,
way before we thought our time was already up
Yet when we look back, it had long been in the making,
our actions easier to read now,
and we see that indeed,
we did know,
we just weren't ready.
So we pick ourselves up,
scan the scenery one last time,
and move along,
making our way on,
on to a new time, a new relationship.
There's always that one last look,
on both peoples' faces,
that sudden insight, that sudden realization,
that here it is,
the end
and wow, how did we get here already.
Seems like we met just the other day,
couldn't have been that long ago,
can this be really be the end?

And then, inadvertently
one person makes that tiny step,
that step in the other direction,
and there it is, it's done,
too late to reconnect the path,
now two separate paths leading in different directions.
Neither person knows if they will ever reconnect again
just that for right now,
they are leading apart.

It's a cross road,
and you must take your path,
because there is not enough room
on either one for both of you,
just not quite enough room
enough room for both to grow,
and so why stay on the same path at all?

So you step back over to your own,
before it’s too late,
too late to see it at all,
and just when you get yourself back,
back where you were supposed to be heading,
you turn, remembering the other,
and realize, then you realize
that they have turned towards their future,
and then, nothing shared,
and then,
nothing.

They're gone, and you're alone,
once again.
so you pick up your chin, look straight ahead,
and keep going,
Knowing that this is best for you,
for you both,
or you wouldn't be here at all.
But you have to turn and look
one last time,
but no one is in sight,
you sigh,
head hangs a little lower,
and bring your sight back around,
not wanting to look up at all
to face it, to move forward, alone.
then you think back, to the last time
the last time you went through this,
and had to start over, alone,
how you swore never again,
never will I become so attached again,
so vulnerable,
yet it happened, and so quickly this time,
so quickly you almost weren't even aware of it
until it was over,
and over happened just as fast.
and those things, you once thought of,
but forgot to say,
are eternally kept as secrets.

Not convinced this was ideal,
but no longer having the choice,
they linger over you,
replaying in your head, the moments
when you most wanted to say them,
when you most felt them,
like pieces to a puzzle that you never finished,
and the picture never became clear enough, fast enough
and so here you are,
left with the extra pieces, wondering,
wondering what to do with them,
where to place them now,
hang on to them, or just discard them?

And then you remember that look,
that look, that more than anything,
stays with you, captures you,
spins you a little,
until you dizzy with the thought of them, their smile,
their quirks, their acceptance of yours,
that look, dying to say more,
to say more than just goodbye,
so you hang on to them a little bit longer,
it's comforting for now,
but later, just won't quite be enough,
the search not over yet,
not quite yet,
and the look,
fading, is finally gone.

You tell yourself to make sure you remember
to remember them
to visualize, to smile,
to feel them around you,
to remember their lips brushing past yours,
their aura, their energy,
the energy they tried but never could succeed
in hiding from you.

To remember,
the last look,
your last memory.