What I've Done

 

I wasted so much time
Letting life move past as just a witness
Rather than being an active participant
Not really living life at all
I have wasted so much energy
On relationships all wrong
Accepting what I thought
I could someday believe was enough
I have wasted so many feelings
On people who didn’t deserve them
Who were never going to be there for me
Who barely even noticed me at all
I have wasted so much love
On un-reciprocating partners
Who could never meet my needs
No matter how much I met theirs
I have spent so much time
Staying with the wrong people
Thinking I might have met the one
But incapable of acting on my feelings
I have spent so much energy
Trying to be there for everyone else
To be everything they needed when
Forgetting to worry about myself
I have spent so many feelings
Invested in other people’s lives

Trying to put them back together
Only to watch them leave after again and again
I have spent so much love
Trying to find the person perfect for only me
Who wants to take away my pain
To be everything that I need
To be all that I am for them
I have given too much time
Letting myself go without
Letting myself be disappointed
Yet smiling throughout
I have given too much energy
To acting like I am always fine
Showing everyone else that I don’t need them
And am left with them believing it
I have given too many feelings
To protect everyone else’s
Protect them from themselves even
Somehow sacrificing my own all the while
I have given too much love
To people who won’t appreciate it
Completely missing the value in it
I realize I have finally been broken
For all that I have done
For all that I meant to do
All I have succeeded at
Is doing this all to myself.